Some stories for laugh :b

stories not to miss, MUST READ!


Story1 :-

Long Long time ago, in the Tiger Kingdom lived a pair of siblings. Both were blessed with some gifts. Brother had a pair of eyes who could see a distance far far away. Sister had a pair of ears who could listen to anything.

They grew up together and experienced happiness and sadness together. They like to run to the hills to play. Brother would look at far away countries and tell the sister the majestic view that he see. Sister would listen to the beautiful sounds and describe for the brother.

As time goes by, brother and sister started to fall in love with each other. They knew that it was wrong, but they could not control themselves. They continued to love each other. Alas, their parents found out about it. Father was very mad, mother was very sad. The neighbours would point fingers at them and gossip about them.

Brother and sister were adamant about their love for each other. To prove that they were truly in love with each other, Brother destroyed his eyes and Sister destroyed her ears. They felt that since they could not get the blessings, they did not want the gifts...

Long long after, a musician heard this beautiful love story and was touched by it. He decided to compose a song for the lovers. I came across this song and it touched my heart too. However, I did not buy his CD, so I cannot share with you the lovely song. I remembered the lyrics though, and will share with you how touching this song is... enjoy..

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(Chinese hanyu pinyin)
Liang zhi lao hu, Liang zhi lao hu
Pao de kuai, pao de kuai
Yi zhi mei you yan jing, yi zhi mei you er duo
Zhen qi guai, zhen qi guai....

(Translation)

2 tiger , 2 tiger
run very fast, run very fast
1 no eye, 1 no ear
very weird, very weird...


LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nice right? Very touching hor .... :P
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Story 2:-

A farmer had twenty-five young hens and one old cock. As the oldcock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer bought oneyoung cock from the market.

Old cock to Young cock : "Welcome to join me, we will work togethertowards productivity"

Young cock : What ya mean? As far as I know, you are old and should be retired.

Old cock : Young boy, there are twenty-five hens here, can't I help youwith some?

Young cock : No! Not even one, all of them will be mine.

Old cock : In this case, I shall challenge you to a competition and ifI win, you shall allow me to have one hen and if I loose you will haveall.

Young cock : O.K. What kind of competition?

Old cock : 50 metre run. From here to that tree. But due to my age, Ihope you allow me to start off the first 10 metres.

Young cock : No problem ! We will compete tomorrow morning.

Confidently, the following morning, the Young cock allows the Old cockto start off and when the Old cock crosses the 10 metres mark the Youngcock chases him with all his might. Soon enough, he was behind the Oldcock in a matter of seconds.

Suddenly, Bang! ..... before he could overtake the Old cock, he wasshot dead by the farmer, who cursed, "Fucking hell ! This is the fifthGAY chicken I've bought this week !"

THE MORAL OF THE STORY : "NEVER UNDER-ESTIMATE AN OLD COCK......"
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Story 3 :-

KIDS IN GRADE SCHOOL THINK FAST

TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!

TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?"
JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong.
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!

TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLIE: Me!

TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."

TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
JOHNNY: "Because George still had the axe in his hand."

TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PUPIL: A teacher.
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Story 4 :-

One day, three bankers, a Citibanker, one from HSBC and another fromMaybank, went for a walk. They were old buddies from school, and they wereremembering the tough old days when they were students together.

For no apparent reason, they went into a zoo and passed an elephant.

Being from the same profession and the same school, there was a bit of peercompetition going on. So when he saw this elephant, an idea clicked the Citibanker. He said to the others, "Why don't we prove who is the bestamong us?".

The others, of course, agreed.Then the guy from Citibank said "Let's make it a test. Whoever can make this elephant laugh, he works for the best Bank".

They all agreed.

Being a pure logical strategist, the Citibanker tried to make the elephantlaugh by telling jokes (In this story, the elephant could understand the language, boleh lah). But it remained silent.

As a more practical guy, the HSBC guy tried to make funny gestures...andthe elephant still stood firm.

Now, it was the Maybanker`s turn. Being the tomorrow -can- do- it guy, he whispered something to the elephant, and it laughed and pointed its trunkat him. The other two were astonished.

How come this Maybank guy could beat them?

So the HSBC guy said "OK, let's make another test. Let's make this elephant cry".

So there they went again.

The Citibanker told sad stories,the HSBC guy made sad gestures,and they both failed again.

Then, the Maybank fella whispered something again into the elephant's ear and it just cried, weeping and sobbing away.

This can't be, thought the other two.

So the Citibanker said "OK, you've won twice. If you can win this test, we will bow to you. Let's make this elephant run".

He went and barked at the elephant and ordered it to run. But it stayed still.

The HSBC guy pushed the elephant and stabbed it with a stake to make it run, it too stayed still.

Finally, the Maybank hero whispered something into its ear again and the elephant ran and ran as fast as it could as if it was scared to death.

The other two surrendered."

OK, you're the best, pal. You work for a very good Bank; not even ourglobal banks can beat yours. Do tell us your secret".

"Well" said the guy from Maybank,

"The first time I made it laugh, I said "Maybank is the best bank in theworld! ".

"When I made it cry, I told the elephant how much I get paid".

"And when I made it run scared to death, I said,"Why don't you join Maybank?"
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haha...enjoy! =)